Interview with Jessica Leski / I Used to Be Normal: A Boyband Fangirl Story

Amelia (15) from Film in revolt spoke to Jessica Leski, director of I Used to Be Normal: A Boyband Fangirl Story  – the coming of age stories of four women whose lives were changed forever by their love of boybands Backstreet Boys, One Direction, Take That and The Beatles (screening at the Queer Screen Film Festival).

What made you decide to tell the story of the fangirl?

Well it started because I was a fangirl myself, and I didn’t feel like I had seen representations of fans in films that felt realistic. Most films about fans kind of picked the most craziest and the most extreme, and that kind of felt a bit unfair.

Why did you make the decision to explore the stories of four girls of different ages who loved bands from different time periods, all the way from The Beatles to One Direction?

I had been a fan before and I definitely had loved things in my life before, but I hadn’t loved a boyband until One Direction. I’m a lot older than the usual One Direction fans, but when I was at school I was very dismissive of boy bands and their fans. And so when I finally found one that I love it made me curious about the other ones that missed out on. I was investigating the boybands of the past, but that also made me curious about fans in the past. I was thinking about how being a fan had changed, how important is the Internet is today, and what it was it like to be a fan. It was really important for me to speak to a wide range of fans to get a really good perspective on what was similar about being a fan and what had changed.

What did you enjoy about making this documentary?

What’s amazing about making a documentary is that you’re dealing with real people. I filmed with the women in this film over a number of years, so I got to know them. It’s a real honor to be invited into someone’s home and into their lives and for them to trust you as a filmmaker to put that on screen. That’s an amazing privilege.

What’s your advice for aspiring young female filmmakers?

Something that really helped me is realising that I have to be my own cheerleader a lot of the time. As much as you believe in the project and you want other people to believe in it as well, you have to be the one that loves it the most. Your passion in both the project and your belief in yourself is going to be what drives the progress and makes it happen.

What is a film made an impact on you when you were growing up?

I think one of the first films I saw that really affected me was a film called Night On Earth (Jim Jarmusch). It was probably the first arthouse film that I saw. It’s set in five different taxis in five different cities. It was such a unique idea. It made me realise that filmmaking is an art. It wasn’t just a fun distraction that you go to the movies or you watch on Saturday night. It was the first time I saw filmmaking as an actual artform.

Why do think that I Used To Be Normal: A Boyband Fangirl Story is relevant for girls and women?

It’s so relevant! Young girls are so smart and so creative, and the media doesn’t show that side of them at all. It kind of makes fun of them, makes fun of the things they like and makes fun of the things they say. And there needs to be more films in the world that reflect more realistically what it’s like to be a teenager, and why the things we love as a teenager are so important. They are the building blocks for the person you become as an adult.

What was most challenging about the process of creating the documentary?

It was very hard to convince people along the way that a film about boyband fans was worthy. Even though myself and my producer, Rita Walsh, believed so strongly that it was worthwhile. It’s really frustrating to try to convince the people you need for funding and the people that are the gatekeepers in the industry that this was an important and worthwhile story. It’s quite draining when you know in your heart that it is important. It took us five and half years to make it, so that’s a long time to keep on building yourself up along the journey. But we were lucky along the way to  gather some really supportive crew members and donors. Eventually even the in the funding bodies, we did find people who got it. It’s so exciting when you find people who get your idea and believe in it too.

How did you find your subjects in this film and how did you know the girls were the right fit for the story you were trying to tell?

The American girls I actually found online. Elif, who is from Long Island, I actually saw her One Direction reaction video. It’s just amazing. We only see a few seconds in the film but the whole thing goes for eight minutes and she’s just having such an extreme experience. To be able to watch that is just so amazing. So I reached out to her. I happened to be travelling to New York at that time anyway, I was going to the same concert that she was going to.

And Sadia, who’s from San Francisco, had written about going on the Backstreet Boys cruise, the previous cruise that she’d gone on. I could just tell that she was so smart and insightful and funny. So I also reached out to her.

The two Australian women actually came through friends of friends. When friends heard that Rita and I were making this film they came to us and said they’ve got the perfect subject, so we went to meet them.

I think with each of those four women, I knew I wanted to make a film about fans that felt more truthful. To me what loved about experiencing the One Direction fandom online was how creative the fans were, how funny they were, how good they were at conspiracy theories. That kind of stuff. So I knew I wanted really smart women to tell their stories, and so  I was drawn to these four because they were totally invested in the boybands but they could also analyse themselves and analyse the bands, and I wanted to have all those things going on in the film.

Queerscreen Film Festival
Wednesday 19th September 2018